my mom was wrong

i went to visit my parents and it was fun, i got to do a puzzle with my mom

i also decided to used my fancy silicone/plastic reusable mask kit. I’M FANCY. Ok? Ok.

so obviously, since my skin has been breaking out because I ate one grapefruit a day, I’ve been more consistent with my clay masks. anyways so i did one while there. and listen, it got late, I was lazy, wanted to go home…and the last thing i was down for was rinsing my mask off at my parents’..BAH

it was a whole ass set up to prepare to leave the house and be in public with my face, full of clay. thank god I was driving but damn, I was already thinking at the bright red lights, or the fkn high beams. PEOPLE WILL SEE ME

sooooo, I left with my mask on…under my mask, with a cap that couldn’t fit on my head- literally hanging on to a thread of hair, my big hood on, and my pride in my pocket. my mom was like “you’re not gonna see anybody! and who cares, you don’t know them!” she’s right, who cares? so I went about my business, cuz obviously I wouldn’t see anyone at 11pm. LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got back home, put my mask back on, my scarf around my face, and made sure my hood was on on (yup twice). I was holding kelz in his crate, my reusable bag on one shoulder and some groceries my parents gave me…OF COURSE there had to be people smoking outside the door, and kelz screaming because…people…which drew attention to me LAWDDDD. when I tell you, my head was downnnn and I was walking FAST FAST. Anyways, so I proceeded to open the door when I hear…”hey do you need help?”…”no thank you (keeping my head down focusing on the key)………….that’s so nice”

my mom was wrong.

my face is dry again

I just spent the last few hours (like 3 tbh) having a kitchen dance party, which also showed my music taste’s range. yes I said it…which means that I had to go through multiple layers. The common thread was me pretending I was having a dance party in Mexico, dancing with some new friends, and that being filmed, and me posting a non-cringy unapologetic me dancing video on IG and already thinking of the reaction of some followers, already thinking of the potential attention I’d receive. It’s like another self takes over making up scenarios. It feels really lame writing this “out loud”, but I’ll leave it here. I’m sure someone else could relate? (I gotta add a side note tho: my kitchen is clean, bitches.)

I did a clay mask+apple cider vinegar+honey this evening. My skin was red and dry after, but I went innnn with the moisturizer. Now. Listen. My dance party killed all my hard work. I sweated so much, used about 3-4 paper towels to patch my face, thus my face is dry again. My hair roots still haven’t fully dried.

Today, my routine was a lil off, and I feel like my day didn’t necessarily move with a flow. I didn’t do my freewriting this am. I feel like to have a strong foundation, I need a consistent routine. And I always get frustrated when I start on the right track and stop. One day turns into another one, and another one, until I gotta push myself to start again harder. Maybe having a strong routine also entails being intentional about taking a breather and setting a max period of perhaps 24h until I go back to it? Or adjust the routine to something more realistic?

I think Imma use a face wipe to salvage the dance dryness damage. Good night.